
AVOIDING BANANA SKINS
I was listening to the long list of grievances the Italians have about how the rest of the world abuse their sacred culinary customs by committing horrendous acts of disrespect to their gastronomic traditions. The biggest bug bear it seems is when foreigners splash tomato ketchup over pasta dishes. Using a spoon to twirl spaghetti is frowned upon never mind cutting it into little pieces so it can be eaten easily. Overcooking said pasta to a mush way beyond the critical limit of al dente is just outlawed. Finally the lira stops at pineapple on pizza where you may be taken away and never seen again for such an offence.
Every country with deep food cultures will have similar lists. The French list is most extensive with whole subcategories like cheese faux pas where even cutting it wrongly on the board will have you admonished. Then there is everything from not slicing bread as it should always be broken to not overcooking steak and to using cutlery properly. The country that invented etiquette has stringent rules of correct behaviour across all aspects of life but food and drink have an infinite share of the standard operating procedures that are ignored at your peril.

The Spanish are a little more relaxed but don’t dare yawn or stretch at a dinner table even if you are only tucking in at midnight to your evening meal. Unlike the French they do not want you touching or sniffing fruit or vegetables at a market and always wish someone happy eating even if in passing them at their table. The French will only announce this before anyone touches the first morsel on a plate.
Further afield the likes of the Japanese will baulk if you point with your chopsticks or stab a piece of fish with it to plonk in your mouth. So it got me thinking firstly about the countries where anything goes and where formal eating manners are more or less extinct. New generations of kids are being brought up with no dining table training whatsoever. An American schoolteacher relayed to me how one of her first tasks for junior elementary school students was a lesson in holding a knife and fork as some had actually never seen or held one. Eating with ones hands seems to be widespread there now. On the flip side the real Italian food in America can be as good as anything back in the mother country with neurotic loyalty to recipes and regions.

Then secondly I wondered as to what might be unacceptable in our little old Ireland to the uninitiated visitor. Of course with not such a big food history our eating etiquette is a lot more informal when it comes to mealtimes. We would have been just pleased to have anything to eat at all in our peasant past never mind how it was to be consumed.
One thing that would have been important was a rendition of a grace before meals or some form of prayer to give thanks for the grub. When the praying is done and unlike the continent we keep our hands off the table when not eating. Any adept peeling of the spuds will be admired here as you neatly pile the skins up on your side plate. It is more in the drinks department though that we have a few national guidelines. One thing that is sacred is waiting for a pint of Guinness to settle fully at the bar before being consumed and I have seen visitors lash into their black stuff while only just topped off by the barman.
Other visitors have stirred their Irish coffee the second it is placed in front of them and that can only be a sorry sight for anyone unfortunate enough to witness it which I once did in the lounge of a posh Dublin hotel one time. Overall it is rather quite casual here compared to our stricter continental neighbours but best learn and mind your manners if you are eating around European tables.
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